For Nate

Dearest Nate,

I am SO glad you moved to Utah, and SO glad that you're in debate!

You are adorable, funny, and flat out cute.

And yes, Millie's pet turtle eats goldfish.

Love, Sarah

Found some old goodies from junior year AP Lang...

This was a free write I did about part way through junior year:

I tend to be a really negative person, so I'm going to write about why I like myself.

First is my hair. I know that's a weird place to start, but my hair is my favorite thing about the way I look. I love having long hair! The Puritans got it right when they said that a woman's hair is her vanity. I like the chocolate brown color of it and the way it curls, especially around my face. I only get it cut about once or twice a year (which I know is bad) because I want it to grow out. 

Next is how smart I am. I love taking hard classes and feeling like I make high school worthwhile for myself. That's why I enjoy debate! I learn so much about politics, philosophies, and history. My sister Amelia always comes to me for questions. I'm a year ahead in math and AP Calculus is one of my toughest classes. I love feeling like I can understand and master the concepts.

The last thing that I like about myself, or at least the last one I will talk about, is that I think I'm a good leader. I like planning and organizing activities. I think I'm pretty creative. I like doing things for other people and feeling like I can make a difference. 

I'm really hard on myself and I push myself to do a lot. I find myself happy though when I look back at all that I've accomplished. 

2012

If you haven't found this blog yet, then you've been missing out:

http://itjustgetsstranger.blogspot.com

Anwayyyy, on to my official new year's post.

Looking back at 2011, this has definitely been the busiest, craziest year of my life! If there was any one lesson I've learned, it would be this: everyone is capable of so much more than they know! I'm talking to you. YOU are grand. If you push yourself, and try to accomplish great things, you will be rewarded.

For me, the biggest example of this would be student council. I remember how nervous I was when I turned in my application. I felt so confused about whether or not it was the right thing for me. I knew that I'd be embarrassed if I actually went through with the whole process and ended up not being selected. I almost didn't want to tell anyone I was applying. Somehow word got out. (Doesn't it always?) I had near threats from other people who likewise wanted the academics position.

I had to go through an interview by the already elected, new student council. When I walked into the room, I realized that I knew all of their names, but there was a slim chance they had ever heard of me before. I was nervous, but did my best to be happy and confident. I guess it paid off.

So....what I hope you learn from this is that YOU can do great things. Heck, if I can get a spot on student council, then you can achieve whatever you'd like to, and more than you can imagine. YOU are capable of more things than you know.

Now, onto resolutions for 2012. First, I must talk about my take on new year's resolutions. People have worthy goals throughout the year, but for some reason, they always wait until January 1st to begin. There is something seriously wrong with that. Why not set goals throughout the year?

I, being a hypocrite, have decided to eat a ton of junk food and candy now, because I'm cutting it out for 2012:) I'd also like to start working out more often. Since 9th grade, I've lost about 35 or 40 lbs., and have gone from a size 9 to almost 0. I don't really know how I did all that. I swear I'm not anorexic or bulimic:/ and  if you know me, you know that I LOVE food. Even if I've already lost weight, it's not going to be bad for me to eat healthier and get some sort of muscle on me.

Next, I'd like to feel pretty. Most mornings, getting ready is a task done grudgingly. Very rarely, and only with a lot of effort, do I ever say "I feel pretty today!" I think it would be nice to feel pretty more often. My case is a little unique, in that I've spent the last seven months on acne medication that has completely dried me out and emotionally destroyed me. I totally think my teacher's think I'm on drugs because my eyes are red all the time and I'm constantly putting on chapstick. But now that I'm done with accutane, hopefully I'll feel happier. And my skin definitely looks much better!! I haven't been clear since fourth grade. It feels nice. So yes, I'd like to be able to look in the mirror and say "I'm pretty" more often than I say "I'm ugly."

My last goal is hopefully going to become my year's theme - if I could call it that. It's about influence. Who am I going to let influence my life? Most commonly, I let people from the past, people who have hurt me, tell me what I should be. How do I know they even exist anymore? People change. They could be completely different now. So why would I let a past version of them hurt me? I can't move forward if I'm stuck in the past. I'd much rather let Christ influence my life. I'd much rather be known for being a nice and friendly person.

Going with that, my resolution is to redefine how I will influence other people. My Mom has always said that I'm a leader; I can choose to lead for good, or lead for bad. With all the different leadership positions I have right now, I have the great ability to influence many people. Last year when I applied for student council, I felt really small and insignificant. This year, I actually feel kind of popular, which is a new experience. I impact not only the people I regularly visit with, but everyone who sees me. It's important that I always stay "Rahrah" no matter what - that I cheer people on:)

I've heard that writing down goals, or sharing them with other people, will help me achieve them. If you ever see me gaining weight, chowing down on too much junk food, being hard on myself, or beating someone up, then feel free to straighten me out.

I LOVE YOU. Yes, YOU. If you don't think I'm talking about you, then you're wrong.

Sarah

.

That last post was a load of crap. I flushed the last five pills away. I'm done with that.

Dinosaur Museum:)

I had a lovely date hoy con Lonso:)

We ate lunch at sweet tomatoes and then went to the dinosaur museum! I super like going to museums, especially if they involve sharks in any way. (See picture.)

As you've probably noticed, Christmas was a few days ago. I got my first android phone (from which I am sending this blog) and it's real nifty! I also got a laptop, which was a complete surprise! I'm going to miss my netbook, but it has definitely kicked the bucket:( I'll have Brady check it just in case.

As a quick update, I have only FIVE pills of accutane left to take. It has noticeably cleared my skin, and noticeably taken a toll on my mental health. Can't wait to be done!

Anywho, I miss my dog, I miss summer, and I miss you.

And that has made all the difference.

Essay from my creative writing class, slightly based on Robert Frost's poem "The Road Not Taken."

I went to five different elementary schools. Because I moved around so much, I struggled with finding good friends. Being in the top of my class each year didn't help. When I began an accelerated program in 5th grade, I finally found a group.

For the next four years, my life was "Mean Girls." I was in the popular circle of girls in my class, but I obviously didn't fit in. They told me rules I had to keep. If I didn't, I was kicked out. I had to straighten my hair, dress a certain way, and act dumb so boys would like me. They told me which boys I was "allowed" to have a crush on.

I told my parents that I was happy and that my "friends" were nice.

We were rude and gossiped a lot. We never talked or cared about anything important. The two queen bees of the group would get in fights over boys. They forced the rest of us to pick sides. Things were very dramatic, and I was extremely desperate and insecure. I chose friends over confidence.

Things lightened up a bit in junior high. I still felt excluded and below them. I still felt like I had to be on my guard all the time. However, it was better to have friends, hating my life, than to have no friends and be lonely.

At the end of it all, one of the queen bees confessed that they were only friends with me to make themselves look better.

My crucial decision came toward the end of 8th grade, after four years of hell. I emotionally couldn't handle it anymore. I wanted friends who accepted me for me. I cut off all contact and am still working to move on.

I sigh now because it's a part of my life I wish I could forget. I recognize that the difference has been positive. I struggled for a while, trying to gain confidence from my nothingness, and wanting to make real friends.

I jumped around a bit between different groups until the end of 10th grade, where at a party, I met the cutest, brownest, funniest guy I've ever known. He's my best friend! If I hadn't left that group from hell two years previous, and spent time discovering who I am, then I wouldn't have been ready to meet him.

Looking back, those were my most formative years. I excelled in orchestra and academics. I took my first AP class, discovered a love for history, and tried debate. I've become extremely involved in religion and school.

Before, my "friends" controlled my life. Now, I know who I am and what I want to be.

A pearl is my favorite gem. A clam will take a grain of sand, and through much pressure, make it into a beautiful pearl. Judge me as you will. Say what you want about me. Think harshly of me for running into Alonso's arms, or that I'm crazy for trying to do all that I do. Or that my hair would look better straight. Or that my skin's too white, and I should try tanning. Or that I have no life outside of school. Tell yourself whatever you want, because you will never know me the way I know myself, and the way my Savior knows me. Through much pressure, I have become a beautiful pearl.

Things were hard, but I made a crucial decision, and that has made all the difference.

_____

Also, as a quick analysis of the poem, many people just get it WRONG. It never once says that he chose the better path. He said he'd be telling the story with a sigh, knowing that the path he chose made all the difference. It could easily be interpreted to mean that he had taken the wrong path. He also says that both paths were equally worn. One wasn't significantly harder than the other. Just some thoughts. Love you all:)

Why yes, I did change up the blog.

I felt like the old blog didn't fit me anymore. Enjoy the new one! It's based on the song "Sarah Smile" by Hall&Oates. Dad used to play it for me when I was little.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Red3R17FlUQ

Speaking in church next week:):)

Well, as you know, I LOVE debate! I also really enjoy talking in church. Today, while meeting with my ward's 2nd counselor, I informed him that it's been 1 1/2 years since I've spoken in Sacrament meeting. He was beyond impressed. Apparently, he's been looking for a young woman to speak next week. He explained that he typically makes calls 2 or 3 weeks in advance, but he just couldn't figure out who to call. He had free time, but no one felt right. I felt really good because not only am I relieving a burden of his, not only am I speaking in church, but I was led to this assignment! It's inspired!

Very pleased with myself right now:)