September 15, 2011

My birthday story, June 17th

His car was hot, stuffy, and lacking a radio. With any other guy, I would’ve felt uncomfortable; yet being with Alonso, even in an old Jeep, made me happy. Neither a broken AC system nor windows that don’t roll down could ruin my 17th birthday. 

“Thank you for decorating my room, Lonso!” I exclaimed. Then, sarcastically, “I was very surprised.” Nothing gets by me. I knew the full schedule for the day, and I couldn’t have been more excited. Our first stop would be a small, lesser-known Peruvian restaurant in Provo. 

“Are you going to have ceviche?”

“No! I had your mom’s last fall. One serving of raw fish is quite enough!” I replied, smiling nervously.

“Well, it’s your day. Have whatever you’d like!” I swear that boy is made of cheese.

I gripped my seat belt so hard that if it was an orange, juice would’ve begun to squirt out. The Jeep had begun shaking violently on the passenger side of the car, right under my seat. 

“What’s going on?!” I yelled.

Before Alonso could answer me, I heard a loud popping sound, similar to what I imagine a blown out tire would sound like. Alas, the tire had blown out. He immediately turned on the emergency lights and maneuvered the car into the right lane. Unfortunately, the insane Utah county construction prevented us from immediately taking the shoulder. At 5 MPH for a couple yards, we finally made it safely to the edge of the road. This is one surprise I most definitely did NOT foresee.

Now, my birthday is conveniently placed in the month of June; this is convenient for two reasons: One, I don’t have school. Two, it’s very warm. While the latter may seem like a blessing, I was not pleased on that particular day to be stranded between Pleasant Grove and Lindon with a deficient car at 85* Fahrenheit or worse. In simpler terms, it was extremely hot and the tire was torn into pieces. 

With the utmost precision in timing, a Utah Department of Transportation officer pulled up. He had all of the equipment necessary to replace our tire and get us back on the road. However, he did offer some advice that would forever change our lives:

“You should really get off at the next exit. Take State Street home and then try and get a real tire on that thing ASAP.”

No, it wasn’t exactly life-changing, but in the following moments, a few elements came together to create the 17th birthday experience I will never forget. Alonso and I thanked the man and were on our way. 
Until we made it onto State, we were completely focused on getting off the freeway with no more “surprises.” Once there, we realized the horribleness, the ugliness, and the hellishness of our situation. Though it was , only 85* out, the inside of the car worked to be an oven; Alonso and I were baking at an estimated 125* Fahrenheit…fine, it was probably only 95* or so. As stated earlier, his car had no AC, no window-rolling capabilities, and NO radio! Not only were we frying, we were also trapped with a disgusting scent…

“Blech! Can you smell that burning rubber?!” We had packed the tire in the back seat.

“This is so gross. Alonso, get me home! I knew we should’ve taken my car. Yours is so…ghetto.” I giggled.

The fake tan lotion I had applied earlier that morning was dripping down my leg, leaving behind white stripes. I didn‘t want to tell him, but I was literally melting. I looked at the brown complexion of his face. Though once smooth, it was now covered in tiny beads of sweat. I leaned forward, prepared for the worst. My shirt stuck to my skin. I wish I could say that I shuddered, but it was too hot to feel a cold chill. Alonso called his mami to inform her of our situation. I gave up trying to understand his quick Spanish, and instead searched for fresh, clean air in the car. I found none. 

Those 30 minutes on State seemed to never end. When Alonso finally turned onto his street, I could feel freedom kissing my fingertips. I eased out from underneath my seatbelt and prepared myself to fly out of the car. Once parked in front of his house, we raced to the shade. I fell on the grass, thankful for the immediate relief the cold blades brought my warm skin. 

We laughed.

We laughed, and laughed, and laughed. 

The rest of the date played out coolly (pun very much intended). I drove instead and we went to a different restaurant, but that wasn’t an issue. Sometimes, being with the right person can make any situation bearable. Sometimes, things don’t work out the way they’re planned; however, they always work out the way they’re supposed to.

September 11, 2011

I'm taking a lower dosage of the medication now, and things have normalized's a happier post for you:):)

You know those questionnaire things that people like to fill out? I've never done one before. I found this one that my friend did, and I decided I'd fill it out and post it:)

Are you taken now?
Kind of:)

Are you in love?

What's their name?

Are they older or younger than you?

How long have you been with them?
It's been 1 year, 4 months, and 3 days since we met, and I haven't stopped thinking about him since:)

Do you think you'll get married?
That's the plan:)

Do they always say the right thing?
No:) And it's cute when he says something dumb:)

Do you think they'll always be there for you?
Yes. I trust that.

Do they know just how to cheer you up?
He does. Sometimes he doesn't always do it, so I have to give direction...but that's just the plan:)

Is there anything you would change about them?
I wish I could make him feel less-stressed:) and I wish he wasn't so insecure. I think he's amazing, and I want him to believe that too:)

Would you do anything for them?
Within my standards, yes.

Do you think you know everything about them?
Nope, but that's what eternity is for:)

Do they know everything about you?
Same as above:)

How often do you talk to each other?
Quite a bit:) We're both very busy, but we always make time for each other, and that's special to me:)

Can you see yourself having a long happy life with this person?

Do you see you two having kids someday?
Yes. I trust that by then, I'll actually like kids:) Ja.

Do you call eachother by pet names?
Lonso-poo. Does that answer the question adequately?:)

What was your first date?
The haunted forest:)

Do you remember your first kiss with this person?
July 28, 2010:) I remember every detail:)

What does it feel like to be with them?
Like he's chocolate, and I'm Vanilla:) Jajaja:)

What does it feel like when they're not there?
Sad because he's gone, excited to see him again, and safe because he reassures me that he cares:)

Will they read this just because you filled it out?
Yes because he's the only person that reads my blog, jajaja:)

***the girl who filled this out before me had perfect answers. She knows everything about the boy she's dating, they talk 24/7, and she's always so lonely without him. I'm grateful to be with a guy who I learn more and more about every day. I'm grateful that I don't need him there every second of my life to take care of me. I'm grateful for his kindness and unconditional love. Thank you, Lonso-poo:)

September 4, 2011

ten out of twelve

I'm on medication for my skin right now. It has a warning label that says to "stop medication and call your doctor right away if you notice that you have any of the following signs and symptoms of depression or psychosis:"

Here's the list:

- Start to feel sad or have crying spells
- Lose interest in activities you once enjoyed
- Sleep too much or have trouble sleeping
- Become more irritable, angry, or aggressive than usual (for example, temper outbursts, thoughts of violence)
- Have a change in your appetite or body weight
- Have trouble concentrating
- Withdraw from your friends or family
- Feel like you have no energy
- Have feelings of worthlessness or guilt
- Start having thoughts about hurting yourself or taking your own life
- Start acting on dangerous impulses
- Start seeing or hearing things that are not real

I've experienced all but two of these-_- I can NOT wait until I'm done with this in 3 months.

"Don't concern yourself with this mess you've left for me, I can clean it up, you see. Just as long as you're gone."

School's been off to a crazy start.

I'm only taking 3 AP classes, but on top of that I'm on student council and the president of 4 different clubs. I stay after almost every day to manage one of those and then I'm required to be at as many school functions as possible. Work's really lightened up, but I'm still trying to put in 6-10 hours a week. Luckily, I've been raised from $8 to $10 an hour, so hopefully that will make up the difference.

I'm emotionally falling apart, as usual, and I'm barely keeping my head above water. I'm only doing my best.