It hasn't been a perfect fairy tale the past couple of weeks, but a few things give me hope:

1. The cute song you wrote for me before leaving for high adventure. (It's hanging in my room.)

2. The way you encourage me to keep running when we go to the gym even though my legs feel like jelly. I'm  not in the least athletic, but you've been so patient with me. I can't wait until we run my first 5k in two weeks!

3. Today while babysitting your niece and nephew, I saw that your boutonniere from Prom 2011 was on your dresser. It was shriveled up and dead, but still there. I first noticed it there the day you came home from the ER three months ago. It's a nice reminder. It means a lot to me that you've kept it.

I miss you and look forward to spending time with you for my birthday.

I just realized that in my last two posts, I wrote about how crazy everything is. I guess that explains it adequately. I also miscounted the days left until my birthday. As of right now, I have 5 days until I turn 18! Here's an exciting piece of news:

I'm starting classes at BYU next week!

I had received an extra scholarship to start in the summer, even though I was accepted for Fall 2012. I at first declined the scholarship, thinking I'd be busy with work and other things. After the job disaster I outlined in my last post, I knew I needed to change my plans. I knew there was something better planned for me! I spent all day yesterday getting my admission status changed to Summer 2012, registering for the already picked over classes, and un-declining my scholarship. Everything has worked out perfectly! I am so blessed:)

Anyway, I've been thoroughly cleaning my room. I started last week and have been working through mini projects. On Sunday, the RS lesson was about personal revelation. We talked about how having a clean and orderly home invites the Holy Spirit. How inspiring and timely! I have this folder of neat papers/poems I've written in different English classes throughout high school. I'd love to be able to throw this folder away without losing everything. Sooooo, I'm going to begin posting them more often!

The first one is a found poem (only words from the section can be used) based off of a scene from Charlotte Bronte's "Jane Eyre." (MY FAVORITE BOOK!) I was pretty pleased with it:)

I looked into my heart
With a strict hand.
There were wishes I had been cherishing,
And indulging.
But reason devoured the ideal.
I pronounced judgment:
You?
Of importance to him in anyway?
Blindness!
Senselessness!
Madness!
Be ashamed of your secret love:
Unreturned, unknown, and devouring.

summer has been crazy thus far...

I have a feeling that my entire life will be this way. I will constantly be running from one thing to the next! Not even summer will give me a break. Luckily, being busy makes it a little easier to be happy.

The main story is this: I started a job at an office last week and ended up quitting this week.

Red flag #1: I found the job offer on craigslist.

Red flag #2: I could not get hold of the person that was supposed to interview me. He finally called me and had me meet up with him at a park.

Red flag #3: I was told I'd be working with customers, and was instead put into a lonely room to make phone calls...I was a telemarketer (it was miserable!!)

Red flag #4: I was never given any legal paperwork to fill out, even after I asked for it.

Red flag #5: It was super difficult to get a hold of my boss.

So I finally quit. As it ends up, the office was not yet licensed to hire anyone or withhold taxes from employees. I am now searching for a job again...

Besides that, I've been doing lots of work for the party and the Christy Kane campaign, I got a pass of all passes, I'm looking into purchasing a car, I turn 18 in 11 days, and I'm preparing for TSA Nationals in Tennessee!:)

LOVES!