Whenever I think I'm done writing about this, it pops back up again. It's such a big part of my life, that I think it's worth mentioning another time. Between 5th and 8th grade, I was bullied. I had zero friends and I was extremely depressed. I found my way into a group of friends. They ditched me in 9th grade. I found another group, and they ditched me in 10th grade. I felt completely alone...then I met Alonso. He makes me want to be better! He gives me reasons to smile every day. He helped me have respect and love for myself. I will forever love him for bringing happiness back into my life.
Yet still, I feel an inkling of sadness. Whenever I think about the horrible things those girls said to me so long ago, it brings me down. When I see them in the halls at school, I avert my eyes. I sometimes get jealous of the nice clothes they have, or their large group of friends. I've never known what it's like to have a group of friends to spend friday nights with...usually Alonso and I watch the news together and play scrabble. Don't get me wrong, I love the time I can spend with him! But sometimes I get caught up with wanting a real circle of friends.
The reason I'm writing this is the talk President Uchtdorf gave today. STOP IT. I need to tell myself to STOP IT!! Why am I letting things from the past into my life now? Why should I let fake, rude, and mean people tell me who I need to be? I am going to stop it.
Wanna know how?????:)
My dad reads self affirmations to himself in the mirror every morning... things like "I am awesome!" He swears by the practice and says that it has really made him feel better about himself. I wrote my own self affirmations, but rather than just saying nice things about myself, I tried to make it a little more motivational. Here it is:
Today I will be stronger than yesterday. I will smile more. I will be charitable, gracious, and classy. Today I will be more beautiful. I will try harder, and I will be more intelligent. I will work toward my goals. I will learn something new. I will have more meaningful relationships. Today I will be closer to Christ and have a greater testimony of His restored Gospel. Through Him, I will overcome my challenges.
Today I will do and be all of these things because I say I will, and because I am not alone.
That's it! Every morning, I am going to read this out loud to myself in the mirror. I firmly believe that saying something about yourself makes it true. If I repeat to myself "I am depressed" everyday, then of course I'm depressed...but if I say "I am happy," then I'll be happy.
Any thoughts? If you try this too please let me know how it turns out!!:)
PS- General Conference notes will be coming...