May 1, 2012

During the past month, I've had three experiences of rejection that were turned around. First was at a state competition. The judge told my partner and me that we had lost the round. Later we found out that though we had lost the round, we still won 1st place based on skill. Next, I was told that I was not a part of the 2012 class top twenty because they had used an unweighted GPA. I was heartbroken. The next day, I was informed that some teachers felt the list was inconclusive so they added four more names, including mine. Finally, I tried out to speak at graduation. I received a call saying that I was not selected. The following day, they told me I was. The top four speakers were so close that they decided to have all four of us speak.

From these three experiences, I've learned three things:

1. Change your attitude before your circumstances change. I was fortunate enough to have done this. If I hadn't, then I would have been ashamed of my feelings. I mourned each rejection, and then was in the acceptance stage by the time the circumstances changed to my favor.

2. God is mindful of me.

3. I have been prepared for real rejection. At some point in the future, I'm going to get rejected, or something bad will happen, and things will not turn around for me. I will have to be accepting of the circumstance without any expectation of a change in nature.

As for number three, I've been anxious to find out what the rejection will be. Last night, it happened. And it sucks. Being told that I'm not strong enough has only made me feel weaker. It's time to box up and store my memories for a time when they won't hurt me anymore. I need to pick up the broken pieces and start over again.

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