Last night after I prayed, as I was about to lay my head down on the pillow, when a thought came into my mind: "God loves you." It repeated itself over and over again. "God loves you. God loves you. God loves you. God loves you. God knows you. God understands you. That's why God sent Christ for you."
I've heard people tell stories about how they gained a testimony of God's love for them, and I thought I had a testimony of God's love for me, but last night was the confirmation I've been needing. Everything came to me so clearly. I'm sad...but I don't have to be. Last night, God made it very simple. All I have to do is ask Jesus Christ to take my pain away. He's already suffered for it, and he wants to take it upon himself. I have to let him.
I've been stubborn. I've been self-righteous and vain. I've assumed that this little problem is something I can take care of on my own...but now I know I can't. I've let my pride hold me down. My little problem with depression has consumed my life. It's going to take some time to change, but I'm ready to put my trust in Christ and be happy again.