November 27, 2011

And that has made all the difference.

Essay from my creative writing class, slightly based on Robert Frost's poem "The Road Not Taken."

I went to five different elementary schools. Because I moved around so much, I struggled with finding good friends. Being in the top of my class each year didn't help. When I began an accelerated program in 5th grade, I finally found a group.

For the next four years, my life was "Mean Girls." I was in the popular circle of girls in my class, but I obviously didn't fit in. They told me rules I had to keep. If I didn't, I was kicked out. I had to straighten my hair, dress a certain way, and act dumb so boys would like me. They told me which boys I was "allowed" to have a crush on.

I told my parents that I was happy and that my "friends" were nice.

We were rude and gossiped a lot. We never talked or cared about anything important. The two queen bees of the group would get in fights over boys. They forced the rest of us to pick sides. Things were very dramatic, and I was extremely desperate and insecure. I chose friends over confidence.

Things lightened up a bit in junior high. I still felt excluded and below them. I still felt like I had to be on my guard all the time. However, it was better to have friends, hating my life, than to have no friends and be lonely.

At the end of it all, one of the queen bees confessed that they were only friends with me to make themselves look better.

My crucial decision came toward the end of 8th grade, after four years of hell. I emotionally couldn't handle it anymore. I wanted friends who accepted me for me. I cut off all contact and am still working to move on.

I sigh now because it's a part of my life I wish I could forget. I recognize that the difference has been positive. I struggled for a while, trying to gain confidence from my nothingness, and wanting to make real friends.

I jumped around a bit between different groups until the end of 10th grade, where at a party, I met the cutest, brownest, funniest guy I've ever known. He's my best friend! If I hadn't left that group from hell two years previous, and spent time discovering who I am, then I wouldn't have been ready to meet him.

Looking back, those were my most formative years. I excelled in orchestra and academics. I took my first AP class, discovered a love for history, and tried debate. I've become extremely involved in religion and school.

Before, my "friends" controlled my life. Now, I know who I am and what I want to be.

A pearl is my favorite gem. A clam will take a grain of sand, and through much pressure, make it into a beautiful pearl. Judge me as you will. Say what you want about me. Think harshly of me for running into Alonso's arms, or that I'm crazy for trying to do all that I do. Or that my hair would look better straight. Or that my skin's too white, and I should try tanning. Or that I have no life outside of school. Tell yourself whatever you want, because you will never know me the way I know myself, and the way my Savior knows me. Through much pressure, I have become a beautiful pearl.

Things were hard, but I made a crucial decision, and that has made all the difference.


Also, as a quick analysis of the poem, many people just get it WRONG. It never once says that he chose the better path. He said he'd be telling the story with a sigh, knowing that the path he chose made all the difference. It could easily be interpreted to mean that he had taken the wrong path. He also says that both paths were equally worn. One wasn't significantly harder than the other. Just some thoughts. Love you all:)


  1. I am seriously in love with you even more than i thought. You are an inspiration sarah! I already thought you were perfect and well, now i know(: love you!

  2. OH my goodness :D
    I can relate to you in a lot of that... and some of it not haha.
    But I just found your blog!
    I very muchly enjoyed reading this Sarah. You're amazing!

  3. Sarah, you inspire me! You're such a great friend! I'll never forget you.

  4. You are all amazing and KIND people:) thanks for being my real friends!!