February has characteristically been my least favorite month.

Though it's the shortest, I swear it lasts longer than any other of the twelve.

Yesterday was region debate!! My last one. Each year this tournament has been so different. As a sophomore, I didn't understand how it was any more important than the other tournaments. When we won, I recognized that it was kind of a big deal. Junior year, we prepared long and hard for region, determined to take first...which we did. This year, as a newly 5A school, it seemed that we were doing whatever we could to not lose. We finished third of four schools. I'm not disappointed, but I've just been worried that my coach is. I did what I could to be ready. (I spent two hours preparing blocks!) But I know that other teams or competitors didn't work as hard.

Oh well! There's nothing I can do about it! I'm pleased with my third place medal for public forum. I've realized that in the past, it was important for the team to do well. This year, it was important for individual teams to do well, given that they wanted to qualify for state.

Debate, I will dearly miss you next year.

Before debate, I was shy and awkward. I didn't know what I wanted to do, or who I wanted to be. I had no confidence. In fact, I rather disliked myself. I remember that as a child I always wanted to have trophies or awards for something - I just didn't know what. Now, I have debate. I've put a lot of effort into it, and I've seen the rewards for it...not just medals and trophies, but self esteem and intelligence. (Trust me, I know lots about lots.) Thank you debate for always being there for me <3

NOW,

onto my other love...or past love.

Because I'm quarter Asian, and my grandma was born and raised in Maui, my family's always been involved with Polynesian culture. I hula danced a bit as a child and then started dancing seriously at the end of 8th grade. Almost a year ago, I was really struggling with my halau. I felt like we weren't progressing at all. We always talked about going to a serious hula competition, but never got to it. Instead, all of the moms would suggest we do local competitions that are open to all types of dance.

Towards the end of 2010, we finally took the leap to go to competition the next July. By January, everyone had decided to drop out. One girl, who especially bothered me, had been dancing with my teacher for longer. The teacher really favored her despite the fact that she wasn't very good, never practiced, and was rarely on time, given that she actually showed up. She had been to a hula competition before and said that "we weren't ready for one." She said that we had to have experience. 

Ahem, HOW DO YOU GET EXPERIENCE WITHOUT EXPERIENCING SOMETHING?

So dumb.

They instead picked three local competitions to do. All three were on dates that I had debate or AP tests or play practice or something. 

I tried to stick with the class, but they were focusing on the same pieces that were going to be done at competition, so I wasn't learning anything new. On top of that, I was getting really busy with Titanic the Musical.

So I quit.

I thought it was going to be a temporary thing, but I started dreading going back altogether. I never did go back.

I miss hula so much. I felt so natural and beautiful doing it. It made me feel so happy! I really want to get back into it, but I don't want to return to my old halau. So....I'm going to start looking for a new one:)

Well, those are my thoughts for today. 

Love you cuties:)