I've been stuck in this thinking rut lately: If I don't become a scientist or doctor, I can't achieve anything great in the world. This has become a real struggle for me, because I feel compelled to succeed in science. Science has always been my most difficult subject in school. I'm taking AP Biology right now and it's kicking my butt! If I can't even handle this, then how am I going to manage four biology, four chemistry, and three physics classes in college? And those are just the prerequisites before I can start studying neuroscience...
Public thanks to Alonso Sebastian Lopez for making this so clear to me.
He asked me why I wanted to study neuroscience.
"Because I want to make a difference. I want to make something of myself. Maybe I'll cure multiple sclerosis or something..."
"Who cured polio?"
"Umm.....I don't know."
"Who's your favorite author?"
Then I broke down crying.
"Who has made a bigger difference in your life?"
It all makes so much sense now. My mommy has an Ed.S. in psychology. She might not make a difference in the world, but she makes a difference in the individual lives of those she helps...I'm sure her students think the same of her that I think of Jane Austen.
Why should I force myself into something I don't understand or care for? The only aspect of neuroscience I really liked was cognition anyway. Why am I letting other people, or social stigmas, tell me what I have to be when I grow up?
I want a Bachelor of Arts.
I'm not sure what I'm going to study yet, but it's going to be great. I really like psychology, anthropology, social work, history, English, political science...that sounds a lot more like me than science ever did. Alonso (and my mom) said that I don't have to pick right away. I just need to prepare myself so that I'm ready to pick when the opportunity appears. I need to keep being a good leader, studying hard in all of my classes, and relying on the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I'm going to make a difference because I say I will.