November 27, 2010

Where I stand

And another for my AP Language class(:

Unlike most people, the more comfortable you are with me, or the better you get to know me, the less you understand me.

I am a mutt. I am Hawaiian, Korean, Filipino, Tahitian, Irish, Welsh, English, Scottish, and French. I am a true California girl. I would kill to spend the weekend in my home town. I am smart. My life is dedicated to school. Because of this, I’m afraid of failure or being a disappointment. I am decided…about everything. I’m a red-type personality; a driver, perfectionist, and overachiever. I am a daughter, sister, and dog lover. I am a hula dancer. I am technologically challenged. Most importantly, I am a princess.

I like brown boys, vanilla ice cream, and BYU football. I like sleeping way too much. I like studying history, psychology, sociology, and anthropology. I like Tia Mickelson; she is my best friend! I like teasing the easy-to-tease people. I used to like playing violin. I like going on dates. Why? I like eating and not having to pay for it! I like not having brothers. I like my church and missionary work. However, sending out a missionary? Not so much. I like the Victoria’s Secret perfume that my friend gave me. I like awkward silences, unless I just did something stupid. I like it when he calls me to cheer me up and make me laugh. I like holding hands with him.

I believe that people are inherently good. They just make wrong decisions. Except for serial killers. I believe that they are bad and should be put to death. I believe in God, and that he loves me individually and unconditionally. I believe that adults judge teenagers more than most of us deserve. Not all of us are pregnant and/or criminals. I believe that in many cases, anxiety and dependency on parents are learned traits. I believe that the smartest people are the best at procrastinating. I believe that the happiest-appearing people are the ones that are falling apart on the inside.

I do not care for emptying the dishwasher. In fact, I always conveniently leave the room as soon as it’s finished. I do not care for fantasy books, except Harry Potter. I do not care for people who tell me that I need to straighten my hair or dress a certain way to be prettier. I really don’t care about being pretty and getting attention in that way. I do not care for red lights, looking up words in the dictionary, and the dentist. I do not care for being home alone, using dull pencils, and being lectured by my parents.

I am tired of hearing about other people’s problems. Some of my friends treat me like their counselor, and then I never have time for my own issues. I am tired of hearing about stupid people like Lady Gaga. She’s a singer, not an artist. The latter would imply talent. I am tired of hearing about how I need to get a 34 ACT so I can go to BYU without making my parents pay for it. I’m not even sure if I want to go there. I’m tired of hearing apologies when I explain that I’m allergic to chocolate. I’m tired of hearing blonde jokes.

I favor acoustic guitar. I favor teachers who actually want to be there for me. I favor dark colors over light ones. I favor home cooked meals, tall guys, and conservatism. I favor term limits for greedy senators. I favor happiness…for everyone. I favor the eighteenth century over the twenty-first. If I could choose to be any flower, I would be a gerber daisy. Any animal? A shark. I favor the sunrise and the mentality it brings of starting fresh. I favor Southern California, Orange County, and Huntington Beach.

I’ve always felt like my personality is one huge contradiction. I tend to surprise people once they get to know me better. Am I even worth getting to know? I like to amuse myself in thinking that if I was another person, I’d be friends with myself.

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